Let me back up a bit. The last few weeks of the pregnancy were rough. I was feeling so huge. Who am I kidding I was huge. Everything was uncomfortable. I got out of breath just sitting. I wasn't sleeping well. I was ready to evacuate little miss. I've had my other babies between 37-38 weeks so we all expected Morgan to follow suit. But of course she had plans of her own. As the 38th week was coming to a close she was not budging. My body had done everything it was supposed to but nothing was happening. I had the Dr strip my membranes 3 times. And oh boy did that hurt. The Dr was sure she was face up which was preventing her from getting in the right position. Right before 39 weeks we met with the Dr to talk about scheduling an induction. Something I did not want to do at all. But I knew Cody & Erin were eager to get the party started and get home. I could also tell there was some tension building between all of us, so I reluctantly agreed to induce at 39 weeks and a day.
39 weeks and stretched to the max
That was Thursday morning. I was up at 5am, and the hospital called at 530 to say they were full for the day and to be on stand by for a few hours. A few hours later the nurse called back to say they rescheduled the induction for the next morning. I can imagine C&E were disappointed. I was relieved. I was still dreading being induced. This was a vbac delivery, so I know there was more risk being induced. I also know inductions can be harder, stronger contractions. I was worried things wouldn't go well and it would end in a c/section.
The next morning came and this time they wanted me at the hospital at 5am. I was able to catch a few hours of sleep the night before. I was nervous but also excited. This was the day we've all waited for for over a year. (Erin & I first got in touch with each other April 25th a year ago)
I got settled in my room & things were starting out. It took 2 nurses, 5 tries to get my IV in. One try blew my vein and still 10 days later my forearm has a big bruise. By 6am the IV was in and the Pitocin was going. I can't remember exactly when C&E got there but it was around 7 that morning. Contractions were starting to pick up. They weren't super strong yet, so we were all laughing and enjoying the morning.
Feeling the last belly kicks
By noon, things were starting to get serious. I finally got an epidural, which took 2 anesthesiologists to get it in. Ahhh...relief! I can't remember how long I was feeling good, but I know it was short lived as the pain came back and came back hard. I had the strongest back contractions that weren't being relieved by the epidural. Eventually I knew it was time to start pushing. I knew my Dr was heading over soon, so we waiting until he got there. A quick check told us baby was ready to come out. The nurses got everything set up and in position. 2 contractions, 5 total pushes and Morgan was out and in her mamas arms. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever been a part of. To watch her mom and dad lay eyes on her for the first time. That moment is exactly why I became a surrogate.
That's kind of where all the sunshine and roses ends for me. Following the delivery, I was losing quite a bit of blood. No one was freaking out, so I wasn't sure if I should be either, but I knew something wasn't right. I got 3 different medications, including a bag of Pitocin in my IV that took 7hrs to infuse. The bleeding finally seemed to subside. They moved me upstairs to my room. Which was right next door to C&E's. The nausea and vomiting started and I kept throwing up. I couldn't keep my pain meds down and my pain was getting out of control. The Dr ordered me something for the nausea. I couldn't pee for almost 10hrs following the birth. The nurse was threatening to put another catheter in. It was a rough night for me. After finally being able to use the bathroom, getting some nausea meds and being able to keep some pain meds down, I was able to pass out for the night. Only to wake up the next morning and realize my right foot was still numb from the epidural. The Dr & anesthesiologist both came in and told me that unfortunately sometimes that happens and it shouldn't be permanent. That wasn't what I wanted to hear. Oh well...
Later that morning my husband brought my kids up so they could meet Morgan.
They were all pretty smitten with her.
After a quick visit with the kids, they went home and I was able to go spend a little alone time with Erin, Cody and Morgan before they packed up and headed home.
I spent one more night in the hospital, per the request of the Dr. Sunday morning I was all ready to get home.
Its now been 10 days since the birth. Physically, I am feeling pretty good. I do seem to tire easily, but I'm sure that has to do with low iron from the blood loss. My foot is still numb. I called the anesthesiologist this morning. They told me to give it 4 weeks, from delivery, it should resolve itself, but if it doesn't by then they will refer to a neurologist. I'm trying not to worry too much, but it does weigh pretty heavy on me. Other than that, I feel pretty much normal.
Emotionally, I feel really good. I never really felt attached to Morgan. So I don't feel like I'm missing her or sad that I didn't bring a baby home with me. I feel proud of my self that I was able to accomplish something pretty big. Surrogacy is a lot like babysitting. I cared a lot about Morgan. I wanted to provide her with a healthy environment so she would grow big and healthy. But at the end of the day, I was so happy and relieved to send her back to her parents. Morgan will always hold a special place in my heart. I love the friendship that I've build with Cody & Erin. This last year is one I will always remember fondly. But I am happy for life to return to normal.
